SWPP/Societies Convention 2019 – London

Tomorrow I am setting off for another London adventure. The SWPP photographic convention is on again this week. The biggest photography event of it’s type in Europe, it attracts people of all abilities, from all around the world. I have been invited back as a speaker this year, which, if you know me well, is not something I look forward to or enjoy.

Social anxiety and public speaking are not the best combination, and I have spent around a month going through phases of being quite relaxed, to full on panic attacks and fear.

Why do I hate public speaking? I have been asked a lot about this in recent weeks as I try to explain my fears. The answer is – I don’t know. It is psychological. The words ‘public speaking’ and the fact I have to talk for two hours are the only things triggering the anxiety. I know the subject and I don’t have fears about it going wrong. It is something in the back of my head remembering the fears I had on other occasions, the nerves before starting, the panic attacks. The fear goes back to being at school, when I would never, ever, ever put my hand up to answer a question for fear of being wrong. Having to speak, even for two minutes in a class, was literally my worst nightmare and I’d be off school sick as a result. It is totally a mental block, and one which I feel I can overcome, as I like pushing myself outside my comfort zone.

Why do I do this? You may, like many others, be asking. Well I guess there are a few reasons. Firstly, it is an honour for a wee guy from remote Caithness to be regularly asked to do classes on my photography at such a big event.

Secondly, it is good from a PR point of view to be at events like this. I have a sponsorship from One Vision Imaging, my lab in Coventry, and that is important to me. I am also an ambassador for Zenfolio and these relationships are made stronger by my appearing at high profile events. It’s also nice rubbing shoulders with some of my favourite photographers, and there’s no denying, it is a buzz to be on the same bill as these big names.

But, more important than any of these, I want to overcome my fears and become better at public speaking. The biggest problem being, I don’t do enough of them. Leaving a year, or in this case three years between speaking engagements is not the best way to prepare and the fear is understandable. So, going forward i am going to try to take on more events, and talk about various subjects, work and personal. I remember January 2008, the absolute fear of my first ever Convention as a speaker. Anxiety was at an all time high, however there was a certain naiviety about me back then. I don’t think I realised how big a deal it was, and the fear was less. I am much more self critical, and self conscious nowadays, and my confidence is not where it was way back then. I was a lot more carefree and definitely naive. A lot has happened personally and on the business side in those eleven years, and I am a totally different person now. I care more. I have more passion for what I do. I have come through some very tough times and it has changed my approach to life.

I have been reflecting a lot over the last day or two. Alan Hendry, the editor at the John O’ Groat Journal was reminding me of my first ever convention in 2007, by sending me a copy of the article which followed it. A young, fresh faced JB looking stunned after winning a UK Photographer of the Year title, which was totally unexpected. Twelve years on, that guy in the photo is barely recognisable. Twelve years of experience, twelve years of pushing myself to be better, twelve years of cynicism, twelve years of personal battles, but I am a better photographer, and a better person now than I was then. I have learnt a lot of lessons and hopefully helped others with theirs.

Check out 2007 v 2019 ….. don’t laugh :)

Anyway, here I am – once again in panic mode with two 2 hour presentations to deliver – that’s a lot of material, believe me! I am doing a talk on my North Coast 500 book on Wednesday, the story behind it and the whole adventure of 2018 shooting it and being published. Then on Thursday morning I am doing a talk on wedding photography and giving a list of my top tips for running a wedding photography business. The title says “ten tips” but it has grown arms and legs since then….

I will post another blog after I am finished and report back on how it all went. If you are at the Convention, please pop along and say hello.