The Importance Of A Good Mentor

I recently launched some new services, aimed at helping other photographers get better at what they do. One to one training, and mentoring programmes. With different levels aimed at beginners and more advanced photographers, this is a great way to really improve your work. Working with a mentor is great for your personal development. Having a different pair of eyes, with more experience, critiquing your images and helping you choose the right path is invaluable and by far the best way to improve and begin to see your work subjectively, rather than as a personal thing.

So this brought me to talk about my own mentoring experiences. I haven’t talked about this too much before, although a few people close to me know only too well about my experiences, both good and bad. This has really hammered home to me the importance of choosing a good mentor.

I am not going to name names, or organisations, but I have had two very different experiences with mentoring. I’ll call them Mentor 1 and Mentor 2 for the sake of this post, but it will become clear as you read, that it is very important to make the right choice.

Part 1:

So, my first mentoring experience came about after joining one of the photography organisations. It was included in the membership, and you applied, and they allocated you a mentor. I was delighted to be told I would be looked after by Mentor 1. I had a lot of respect for the guy, admired his work, and felt he would be great for me. Oh how wrong I was to be.

Mentor 1 called me up. We chatted, and discussed a plan. Next step for me was to send him some of my best images, wedding images that is. He called me up a couple of weeks later. He explained he was going to push me hard from the first chat, so I expected a lot of help at this stage. I listened on the end of the phone as about 17 of my 20 images were absolutely taken apart. I expected some constructive criticism, but there really wasn’t any. The only positive comment I can remember, bearing in mind that I was first and foremost a wedding shooter, was something along the lines of “I think you’re probably a good landscape photographer are you?”. I’m not sure if he could hear the sound on the other end of the phone line of my heart deflating like a balloon which hadn’t been tied properly, but I could hear it, and feel it.

Now, a bit of background. I had already received my Licentiate qualification (the most basic one) with one organisation, and this was going for the same qualification within a different organisation.I had won a few awards by this time as well, so felt my work must be at least half decent. I had recently won a UK Photographer of the Year award for a portfolio of ten wedding images, so surely I wasn’t that bad??

I expected to be very close to just submitting my panel for assessment by the judges. However I was told to pretty much keep about 3 images and start again.

Crushed and deflated, I pulled myself together after a couple of days of contemplating my future, and resolved to get better. Much better.  This pattern continued with more images being sent to Mentor 1, and more confidence kicked out of me. There was no constructive criticism whatsoever. Just criticism, generally containing the words “crap, shite, and rubbish” from time to time. I eventually submitted a panel of images, and passed. Easily. But by now my confidence was at its lowest it had been in the three years of being in business.

The icing on the cake came a few months later in London. I had been asked to be a speaker at a major event. I was so proud to have been asked. This was in the days you were invited, unlike now where you submit a proposal and the usual favourites are chosen. As much as I was proud, I am not ashamed to say I was shitting myself. Not literally, but it must have been close. I had done a talk in Scotland a couple of months prior, which went well, and I had received some amazing support there, particularly from a couple of awesome people who were also speaking. They encouraged me, and gave me a bit of confidence back.

So here I am in London. It is Wednesday night. I have just arrived. I’m not speaking until Friday, so have some time to settle in. I went to the bar for a couple of drinks, and was only on my first when Mentor 1 walked in. The bar was quiet, as many delegates had not arrived at this stage. He bought a drink and joined me.

The next fifteen minutes were pretty much one of the worst experiences of my career. My confidence was already low as I said, not helped by a couple of years of abuse from someone with narcissistic personality disorder. This trip was what I needed to try to rebuild my fragile self belief. However Mentor 1 had other ideas on this. He proceeded to dissect everything I did in fiteen minutes. The opening conversation went along the lines of:

M: Are you nervous?

J: Yes, very.

M: You should be.

J: Thanks lol

M: You know you shouldn’t be here. You’re not good enough to be speaking yet.

J: silence

M: Your work is shite.

This continued with many references to images he’d seen of mine. In fifteen minutes what little confidence I had, had been kicked out of me, stamped on, and spat on. The next day, a very highly respected speaker from Canada asked me who the Scottish guy was in the bar. My reply of “that is my mentor” was met, rightfully, by a slight element of shock. He kept referencing the “your work is shite” and “your images are crap” comments, in a very good impression of a Scottish accent. He proceeded to turn this into a parody of Saturday Night Live’s sketch “If it’s not Scottish it’s crap!”. Look it up on YouTube :)

The rest of the week was a bit of a blur, but I do know the talk went well, and there was people sitting on the floor as there were no spare seats. Mentor 1 had fewer people at his, but it’s not about point scoring. In the coming years I regularly had more people come to see me than him, and maybe that was part of the problem, I will never know.

I have since then heard a few people heap praise on him for his rather dubious skills as a mentor, but it is easy to praise someone when he is bullying judges into passing your panels, and you are getting awards and other perks as a result of blowing smoke up his arse and indulging his egotistical ways.

Part 2.

We are now in 2008. I was a bit lost to be honest. London had gone well, but I felt like shit. I didn’t really see it then but my mental health was not good. Not good at all. I won’t go into detail, but I had put weight on, lost my drive, and was pretty close to kissing goodbye to everything on more than one occasion. Looking back now, I was in a very bad place, a place all too familiar to me, but one I rarely recognise when I’m there.

So, then, just at the right time, I was given another mentor, by a different organisation. Step forward Mentor 2. The difference between 1 & 2 is so staggering, and such polar opposite experiences, that it is hard to put into words.

Mentor 2 called me one Saturday morning. Our first conversation was brief, and much the same as my previous experience. I had to sort out 20 images, put them on a CD and send them to him. Within a minute of the next conversation, Mentor 2 questioned my self confidence. He had already noticed I was struggling in that area. I explained a little of what had gone on previously, and he assured me his approach would be very different. He then went through the twenty images I submitted, and gave me a thorough and comprehensive critique on every one of them. What. A. Difference. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. No bullshit, total honesty, but handled in a positive way.

Within a month or two I had submitted and passed my Associate qualification, and had started winning awards again. My confidence had come back, if not totally, certainly most of the way. Mentor 2 remained in touch long afterwards, and even had me speaking at events he had organised. In the end we went separate ways for a variety of reasons, but I still respect what he did for me, and know that every day I shoot, I use some of the advice and tips he gave me back then.

This guy made an effort to get to know me. He could tell my mood by the images I was producing, and knew exactly how to get the best from me, like a good coach always should. Now, I’m sure some people react well to being told they are shit. Like a football coach, a mentor should determine this in every subject, and know whether they may just actually need a few words of encouragement.. Mentor 2 did that and much more. I think maybe he saw some similar personal qualities in me as he had himself. A vulnerability maybe. Who knows,  but he  certainly knew how to mentor folk. I know a number of other people who he worked with who would say the same.

It’s crazy that ten years later, I still feel slightly pissed off with Mentor 1 for his behaviour, but to be honest I feel better about it because my work has continued to improve while he has gone backwards. He’s contradicted his own philosophies more times than a politician, and can’t seem to remember the things he has said as he makes u-turn after u-turn, be it on types of phones and software, or the use of video light and other methods of photographing subjects.

So if either mentor reads this I have the following to say.
Mentor 1, if your intentions were to destroy my confidence, take a bow. If not, you need to take a long hard look at yourself.
Mentor 2, thank you for fixing much of the damage. For making me a better photographer, and more importantly teaching me how to teach others.So if either mentor reads this I have the following to say.

Mentor 1, if your intentions were to destroy my confidence, take a bow. If not, you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

Mentor 2, thank you for fixing much of the damage. For making me a better photographer, and more importantly teaching me how to teach others.

Anyway, I have digressed here. The main point is, that it is a very important decision to have the right mentor in your life. I am not really sure where I am going with this piece as it started off trying to push my mentoring programmes, but has become more of a personal story. All I know is, that people I have trained and mentored in the past, as well as the future, will receive all the experiences above, delivered in the positive way it should be. Not nasty remarks, no jealousy, no ulterior motives, and no psychological abuse. Encouragement, help, understanding and support. That’s the only way.

I look forward to working with many more people in the coming months and years.

Comments welcome as always.

JB

THE BLACK SHEEP