The Royal Wedding Photography And Other Observations

Well, what an occasion it was. A truly magnificent British event, done with style and elegence which we have come to expect in this fine country of ours. I hadn’t planned to watch it, but got sucked in to the TV coverage and loved what I saw. I tuned in to the highlights later to catch up on the latter stages which I had missed, and found myself just as moved by the event, and admit to having goosebumps on a few occasions.

The social media reaction was great, with the exception of a minority of Scots, who decide on their moral values, based on what football team they support or which ‘political party’ they follow. a.k.a. Sheep (not Aberdeen supporters for clarity). It was lovely to see the news being full of happy people, positivity and love were high on the agenda instead of the usual Brexit and Trump/Kim diet we are fed. It may only have been a day but it was refreshing and I loved it.

I was brought up in a family which was very Royalist, my granny in particular, who was a massive fan. I remember many times, as a small kid, standing at the end of our road watching the Royal entourage drive past on their way to the Castle Of Mey. Caithness has long since benefited from the Royals, and I hope will continue to for a long time to come. You only have to see the Cruise Ships coming into Scrabster and sending dozens of busloads of tourists out to the Castle of Mey on a regular basis. Would they still go if it wasn’t a Royal Castle? I really don’t think so.

A superb day and a reminder of why being British is so special. Billions worldwide watching in awe. Long may it continue, and judging by the way the new Royals have won over the younger generations, the future is bright.

Anyways, on to the next subject. The Wedding Photographer. It has caused a lot of debate online, and I have definitely ruffled a few feathers by daring to criticise the family group shot they posted.

Now firstly, a few things:

Am I envious of the photographer, because they didn’t ask me? Don’t be f*cking ridiculous.

Have I produced images of this standard before? Yes, but definitely not in a location like that one!

Do I think I am better than the photographer they hired? No, definitely not.

Could I have done a better job? Judging by the 3 photos released, yes.

Would I have shot the wedding if they asked? No bloody chance.

Am I allowed an opinion on them? Yes, in just the same way as you are allowed to comment on how shit the monkey juggling horse shit on BGT is. Does it make me unprofessional? Well I don’t think so, and I don’t think the Royal photographer will give a shit what I think. But they have been put out there for us to see, and people have actually asked for opinions. It’s bloody Facebook, if it’s not for sharing opinions and dodgy photos, what then?

Am I going to pretend I like it because it makes me look like a lovely person on Facebook? Ah come on, you know me better than that. Honesty and reality is what you get with me. No fake crap and different personality on and off screen.

So, mixed reactions to the photos. I am not going to go into the natural shot of the couple on the steps, it’s a nice image, it captures their personalities. The hand chopped off is just amateurish, really basic mistake, but hey it’s still a nice photo. Actually if you crop most of his outstretched arm out it looks better, but what would I know. It’s the group photo I want to talk about because it’s the one causing trouble, like bun fight kinda level of trouble, all over my Facebook page. People I respect as people and judges, pretending it’s actually a good photo, when they know it isn’t. Judges, highly qualified people, and the thing everyone keeps coming back to is “he was under intense pressure”.

Well, no shit Sherlock. He was under pressure. Yes, extreme pressure.

Every wedding I do, big or small, I am under pressure. I suffer from severe anxiety, see previous blog post about awards, so the pressure is enormous. You know what happens when we get put under pressure? We pay more attention to detail, work harder. Knowing the eyes of the world are watching, you would plan and prepare for an occasion like this meticulously.

Everyone involved in that day from the cake maker, the florist, the dressmaker, right down to the people setting the chairs out for the aforementioned photos, were under pressure. And guess what they did? They planned and prepared with military precision, to make sure absolutely everything went right. This includes the photographer, or so you would think.

If I was asked to do that job, I could only see two reasons to accept it, and a million reasons to say “sorry I don’t think I’m up to this one thanks”.

Two reasons to do it:

Big Money

Massive Exposure – i.e. everybody in the world who has a tv or can read papers is going to see my work.

So, if I accept the job, I know I better make this the best job I have ever done. Like ever. That’s not to say I don’t put maximum effort into every wedding, but on this occasion, you’re gonna make damn sure everything is planned to perfection, and you have helpers setting things up so you can nail all the shots in the shortest time possible. It really isn’t that difficult to line up a family shot symmetrically and parallel to the wall, especially if you are using chairs to seat people, and I am pretty sure the Queen never just said “I’m taking my chair over mate, and this is where it’s going”. Before they entered the room, chairs in place, positions already pre planned, and everything lined up symmetrically. I do this every week, and in often very much less ‘fancy’ rooms.

Pressure. “Sorry Mr Photographer, the operation didn’t go too well. Your family member is still alive but, maybe not quite the way you expected. My hand slipped. But hell, you have no idea the pressure I was under”.

Everyone in any job is under pressure at times. You are chosen for a job based on many things, and handling pressure, having experience and skills, are pretty high on the list. I would love to go back to situations where people were judging my images and say “wait a bloody minute I was under pressure”. That’s what we are paid for, to handle the pressure and produce the goods.

Look back at previous Royal wedding groups. 1981, shot on a medium format film camera. Set up perfectly, everyone symmetrical and evenly lit, and in the middle of the wall. Kate and William’s wedding, same thing. Meghan and Harry’s one looks like one of those pesky guests was standing a few metres away at a bad angle taking pictures on their phone while the photographer set it up. Fact. Did he have less time? Probably, almost definitely no. The timescales would be much the same. The difference was preparation. Jeez if he had got an assistant to set up two Chinese flashguns on brush handles at either side it would have worked better.

See this photo here? This was taken in 1912. Nineteen bloody twelve. This is from our family archives, a wedding over a century ago. Can you imagine what equipment was used here? It’s perfect. Why? Because – planning and attention to detail. Was this photographer under pressure?  With all the lighting, cameras, gadgets, and software at our disposal now, how can we excuse basic sloppiness and lack of planning?

Because it gives a few people a chance to make up crap about “that time I had to shoot the Queen’s wedding blah blah blah. Unless you have worked under these circumstances…blah blah blah”. As I said before, no bullshit from me, what you see is what you get. Real.

I know for a fact these same people are looking at the photo and thinking it’s badly done. But – egos. Sycophantic, snivelling nonsense.

Anyway, the point is, we all work under pressure, and if you can’t handle the pressure, you are in the wrong job. It is not an excuse for lazy and sloppy work.