Making Changes Part Two

So, many people read and commented on my Making Changes blog post at the beginning of the year. It was a great bit of ‘head sorting out’ blurb on my part, for my own benefit I mean. If anyone never saw it, here it is – Making Changes

So, it is now June. I have made changes. I have started to live for today. I have been focused on making shit happen, and generally enjoying life a lot more. I am busy, not too busy, a good balance. My wedding calendar is pretty much full up. I have finally got down to starting my first book, and have began writing another one, which I am determined to finish this year. I have gained some awesome clients and some great new friends. However I am still finding myself stressed and anxious about things.

Why?

Because I need to make further changes.

For example.

I have found myself really enjoying my work. However my main focus has recently been about making other people happy. Trying to please absolutely everybody, at the detriment of my own life. Trying to be a hero all the time. Never saying no. I seem to get more and more of a kick out of trying to make people happy, feel good about themselves, improve their self esteem. All that jazz. I love this. The down side of that is, I am using all my spare time to basically continue working, and despite it not feeling like work, it creates more work, in the way of editing and other things. Now I am not saying people are ungrateful. I know they are very grateful. However it is a pretty thankless task at the end of the day, and just leaves me more tired, more stressed, and feeling a bit like “why do I bother?”. The love of doing it is great, but I need more me time. I need to be on my bike, enjoying the summer, spending time with family. You know, real stuff.

Time to take my own advice and be a little more selfish at times. I have two books to write/photograph, many weddings to shoot, clients to keep happy, oh, and in between that lot, it would be good to have some sort of life. Now before I go further, this isn’t one of those pointed posts, aimed at anyone in particular. Nobody has annoyed me or pissed me off. It is purely the result of a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what I can do better.

So changes to make.

1: Stop trying to please absolutely everybody. Except me. Don’t feel bad about saying ‘sorry, I can’t make it tomorrow’. People are generally understanding. If not, they aren’t really worth bothering with. I am not responsible for making other people happy 24/7.

2: Stop putting myself under so much pressure to be absolutely amazing (in my opinion lol) seven days a week, and then been self depricating if I feel I haven’t reached the highest possible standards. Constantly putting myself down, thinking ‘I’m not good enough’ be it work or personal life.

3: Overthinking. My absolute biggest problem, overthinking everything. Some days I feel like I need to remove the battery from my brain and switch off, because I feel exhausted mentally, just from thinking about stuff. If I have a few appointments and jobs in one day, it’s like I can’t think about anything beyond that day. I know it’s because I think too much. Just need to create habits which involve thinking less and relaxing more.

4: Don’t waste time on anyone who wouldn’t do the same for me. Simple enough concept. No explanation needed with this one. I have some awesome people in my life, who I absolutely love being around and hanging out with. This will continue.

5: Make more time for me. I am going to block out sections of my diary for time off. I know I started this but I have definitely fallen back into my old habits of thinking if there’s a half day or day in my diary which is blank, I must fill it with some kind of work related task.

6: Throw my phone in the sea. Ok, joking, but I need to use phone number 2 more often and turn this one off.

I think these are the main things to address at the moment, but may add to this later. I hope it helps one or two other people to reassess things in their lives that could easily be made better. I have had a lot of feedback from previous posts, and how they have helped a few people, so hopefully this one will too. I regularly speak to people who are in similar situations, feeling negative about themselves, struggling to keep their heads above water. It is very common. You just need to change something.

Remember – YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH